So Soon
by DeadToLove
Summary: Mikey Way struggles with a lot of things. One, he's lonely, two, he suffers from depression and being bi-polar. He takes up self harming, unable to cope with his emotions. One day, Gerard catches him. How is Mikey supposed to explain to his brother that he's in love with Ray Toro, when he already seeing a girl? How does he explain the hurt he feels because of the beautiful boy?
1. Chapter 1

Hands grasped at each other as bodies molded into one beneath the tattered batman duvet. A groan and a high pitched cry filled the room as they finished, still grasping at each other. A noisy kiss, then they were at it again.

"Uh...God, Gerard...fuck me, dammit...ah..." The smaller boy growled, his hips snapping upward to meet the older's. Gerard's mouth molded against the younger's, and he continued to shove his hips forward.

"So beautiful...Frank...Frank..." Gerard gasped. Frank's arms wrapped around his neck, and they crashed their lips together as they came undone. Soft moans and whimpers filled the space between their hot kisses. Gerard finally rolled off of him, and they wrapped their arms around each other, trying to catch their breath.

Mikey Way finally turned his music down. Thank God they'd finally _stopped._ He gazed around his room, regarding his bass hanging on the wall. No...he wouldn't play tonight. He sighed. He was lonely, and it was beginning to get the better of him. He stepped into the bathroom, and looked around. He grabbed his razor from the medicine cabinet. He didn't need to shave...he just wanted the blades. He quickly ripped the razor apart, and held one of the blades delicatly between his fingertips. He bit his lip, and pressed the edge of the blade to his arm. He drug it down the skin slowly, his eyes closing as his entire body trembled from the pain. He drug the blade down his wrist three more times, before staring in fascination at the blood. It dripped onto the floor, and all Mikey could do was _stare_. All his emotions had left, and now he felt content; no more pain. Silently, he put band-aids on his cuts, and cleaned up the blood from the floor. Satisfied, he went back into his room, shut off the light, and went to bed.

~X.x.X~

"Hey baby!" Alicia smiled brightly at him when he walked up to her at school. He forced a smile on his face, and she wrapped her arms around his neck before kissing him lovingly. He kissed her back before releasing her. She was beautiful and kind, and she loved him, but she wasn't what he wanted. He glanced over at his brother's friend, Ray, who had his arms around a pretty brown haired girl, and they were both laughing. Gerard and Frank were standing with them, arms around each other. One of the girl's friends was taking pictures of them, and Mikey found himself frowning when Ray and the girl kissed. His heart churned with jealously and hurt, and all he wanted to do was go home to the comfort of his razor blades. He looked at his shoes, and Alicia didn't notice his depression as she grabbed his hand and pulled him over to her friends.

~X.x.X~

As soon as he was home, the razor blades from the bathroom were dragged down his wrists. He was crying quietly, his entire body shaking as he tried to make the emotions go away. He squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to watch the blood drip onto his sheets. When his brother pushed his door open, he couldn't hide the blades in times.

"MIKEY WAY! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" Gerard screamed at him. Mikey's cries started up again, and he sat there in his misery as his brother stared at him in horror and shock.


	2. Chapter 2

"You can't tell, Gerard. Gerard, you can't tell anyone." Mikey begged, tears pouring down his cheeks. Gerard bit his lip, and took the blades from him.

"Go into the bathroom." Gerard finally ordered. Mikey did, and Gerard stripped the sheets from the bed. He dumped them in the washer, and threw the blades in the trash can. He started the washer after dumping the right amount of soap in. He returned to Mikey, who was sitting on the edge of the bathtub. Gerard got a washcloth, wet it with warm water, and began to clean up his cuts. Mikey winced at the sting, and Gerard gazed up at him for a second, before dabbing at the wounds. Mikey sniffled. Gerard wrapped up the wounds with clean bandages, and stood up straight. Mikey looked up at Gerard, fear in his eyes. Gerard helped him to his feet, and took him back to his bedroom.

"Sit." Gerard ordered. Mikey did, and Gerard left the room. He returned in a few minutes with a mug of coffee which he gave to Mikey. Mikey sipped at it gratefully.

"...tell me what's going on, Mikey." Gerard finally whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I'm tired Gee...can this wait...?"

"Mikey..."

"You can stay, I'm just...I'm tired. I didn't sleep well last night..." Mikey whispered. Gerard lay down beside him on his bed, and curled up beside him, his eyelids fluttering shut. Mikey couldn't keep his eyes open very long, and was fast asleep in seconds, his head falling against Gerard's shoulder. A soft snore came from him, and Gerard smiled before drifting off.

~X.x.X~

When Gerard woke up, and blanket was thrown over him and Mikey. Gerard glanced at MIkey's alarm clock, and realized that they'd only slept four hours. Mikey was curled up on his side, still snoring away. Gerard slowly got up, and tucked the blanket around Mikey. Half afraid to leave him alone, Gerard began to clean up his room.

~X.x.X~

Mikey didn't wake up till about eleven at night, hungry and in need of a shower. Gerard was dozing with his head on Mikey's desk, and Mikey noted that his room was now clean. Mikey got up, and draped the blanket around Gerard's shoulders. Gerard's eyelids fluttered open. He stood sleepily to his feet, and followed Mikey downstairs. He grabbed a mug, filled it with coffee, and stuck it in the microwave. Mikey got a piece of pizza from the box on the table, and took a bite. He hated it cold, but he was hungry enough that he would eat it that way. Gerard sat down at the table with his coffee, so Mikey stuck two more pieces on a plate in the microwave. When his pizza was done, he sat down in front of Gerard, and took a bite. Gerard was more awake now, and he was munching on a piece of cold pizza.

"Talk to me, Mikey. Why'd you do it?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you..."

"Yes I would. Your my little brother, Mikey."

"Okay...well...I keep having all these mood swings, and whenever my mood swings aren't kicked in, I'm always depressed. Then...then there's...someone...and this someone always makes me jealous, and...dammit!" Mikey felt the floodgates open, and tears flood down his cheeks. Gerard's eyes went wide.

"Who's hurting you, Mikey?"

"I...it's not his fault..."

"Mikey, tell me..."

"Ray Toro! Alright? I love him, and he doesn't care about me at all! He always seems to flaunt off the girls he's dating toward me, and Gee, it hurts. Alicia doesn't know, and I can't tell her. So I took up cutting so it'd make all my emotions go away, and all I'd feel is the physical pain...a-and...a-and..." Mikey continued to sob, burrying his face in his arms. Gerard took the blanket that Mikey had draped around him, and draped it around Mikey's trembling shoulder. He kissed Mikey's forehead, and hugged him as best as he could. Mikey continued to tremble.

"I'm gonna go put new sheets on your bed and mine, and then we can either listen to music in your room, or watch movies in my room. Sound good?" Gerard asked. Mikey nodded, and Gerard went off.

He came back after ten minutes, and Mikey turned toward Gerard's room. He curled up on Gerard's bed, and burried his face in the pillow. Gerard put in a random horror movie, and turned off the lights before crawling under his covers. Mikey was sniffling quietly, and Gerard gently rubbed his shoulder. His crying slowly stopped, and he turned his attention to the screen. Gerard slowly began to fall back asleep. Mikey watched as his brother's eyelids drooped, and he mumbled imder his breath as he drifted off.

"What was that, Gee?" Mikey whispered, almost asleep.

He didn't get an answer, because he fell asleep, and Gerard's answer was a snore.


	3. Chapter 3

Mikey's eyelids fluttered open. Gerard was still passed out beside him, tossed onto his side, facing away from him. His hands were knoted in the sheets, and he was whimpering softly. Mikey put a hand on his shoulder, and went to shake him.

"Gee...?"

"Frankie..." Gerard whimpered, a few tears streaming down his cheeks. Mikey leaned over him and grabbed his phone from the bedside table. He knew it was eight in the mornng on a Saturday, but it was about Frank's boyfriend, so Frank would be fine, right?

"Hello?" Frank answered on the third ring, his voice thick with sleep.

"Hey Frank."

"Oh...hey Mikey. What's up?"

"Gerard's having bad dreams. They've been off and on all night."

"About?"

"You."

"Oh...yeah, he mentioned yesterday that he'd been having those, and when I stayed over, it took me _forever _to calm him down. Can I talk to him?"

"That was the reason I called you, Frank."

"Oh. Well, I should've guessed that one." Mikey chuckled, and gave a half asleep Gerard the phone.

Gerard held onto the phone, still crying silently while Mikey could hear Frankie murmuring into the phone. Gerard slowly calmed down, and Mikey got up and went upstairs. He was just stepping out of the shower when he heard Frank arrive. He knew that he could take his time getting dressed, because they'd be making out against the front door.

He slowly got dressed, and pulled his clothes on. He heard a knock from the door, and noises from downstairs in Gerard's room that made him wince, so he went down to answer it himself. Ray Toro stood there, and Mikey gulped as he stared at the perfection in front of him. Ray's mouth was suddenly rough on his, and Mikey was to shocked to kiss him back for a second. Before he knew what was happening, his arms were around Ray's neck, and their mouths were moving firmly together. Ray moved them into the house, and Mikey barely had the door closed before Ray's mouth was on his. Ray finally pulled away, and let Mikey back on his feet.

"What are you doing here?'"Mikey finally asked, looking at his shoes.

"I like you, Mikey." Mikey's heart quit. "I've liked you for a long time."

"I like you too, Ray." Ray smiled, and bent to kiss him again.

"Wait. I'd love for you to kiss me, really, more than anything. I have a girlfriend though, and _so do you._" Mikey reminded him.

"Yeah...there's that..." Ray looked at his shoes.

"When you don't have a girlfriend, Ray..." Mikey brushed his lips across his..."Come and find me."

"Can do." Ray pulled him in for another biting kiss, before going outside and walking off. Mikey shut the door, and slid down to the floor.

_Holy_ _shit._


	4. Chapter 4

**Just to clear this up, Mikey and Frank are sophmores, and Ray and Gerard are juniors. I know the age is totally off, but this it how it is for this story.**

Monday morning, Mikey had broken up with Alicia, taking a wild chance at Ray actually breaking up with Christa for him. He saw Ray with his brother, and started heading over. Christa was suddenly there, in Ray's arms, and they were kissing with so much passion, it beat Gerard and Frank. Mikey felt the wind go out of his chest, and his eyes went wide with shock. Ray suddenly realized he was there, and took a step toward him.

"Mikey, I-"

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Mikey screamed. Everyone stared.

"Mikey, please-" Ray said urgently.

"_I HATE YOU!" _Mikey screamed before running into the school.

~X.x.X~

He was hidden in the boys bathroom, and had blood streaming down his wrists. He'd found the razor blades in his bag from when he hid them there. He carved "unwanted" into one wrist, and "unloved" into the other. He was getting dizzy from the blood loss, but he didn't care. He continued to yank the blades down his wrists. When there was no space left to carve on his arms, he went out of the stall, threw away the blades, and stuck his arms under the faucet. The water stung as it beat against his cuts, but he ignored the pain, watching the water turn red. He grabbed the scraps of t-shirt he'd stuffed in there, and wrapped them around his arms. They'd be soaked through soon, but they'd work for now. He slipped out of the bathroom, and went to the nurses. He pulled the "I don't feel good" trick, and Donna showed up to get him eventually. In the car, he faked a stomach ache by curling in on himself, and trying to get his head on a cold surface. His mother helped him into bed, and tucked him in.

"I have to go back to work sweetheart. Gerard will be home in a few hours, okay?"

"Okay..." Mikey whispered. As soon as she left, Mikey was out of bed, and in the shower. His arms _ached, _but he didn't care. When he had scrubbed every inch of himself at least twice, he got out of the shower, got dressed, then preformed first aid on his arms. He found a huge white bandage, which he wrapped around both his arms, and taped the pieces down. He then changed into his pajamas, and crawled under the covers. Muffling his sobs, he closed his eyes, and tried to fall asleep...

~X.x.X~

"How're you feeling Mikey?" Gerard stood in the doorway of his bedroom. Mikey pulled the blankets tighter around himself, and rolled away. Gerard came in, and sat on the edge of the bed. He began to run his fingers through Mikey's hair, something he used to do when Mikey would have a nightmare as a little kid. Mikey heard himself sobbing; the painful sobs that rise in your chest, and hurt like hell if you try to keep them in.

"Let me see your arms, Mikey. I know your not sick. I know what you did, but I won't tell mom." Gerard whispered, and Mikey rolled to face him, and gave him his arms. Gerard slowly undid the bandages. He took a sharp intake of a breath.

"How bad is it?" Mikey mumbled.

"It's not bad...medical wise...it just doesn't look good to me, because your my little brother, and you _can't say shit like that about yourself!_" Gerard nearly yelled. Mikey felt another sob escape. Hating to see his little brother cry even _more_, he gently ran his fingers through Mikey's hair.

"I'm sorry, Mikey...no more though. Promise me."

"I promise."


	5. Chapter 5

**I think that I'm going to make the last chapter in Mikey's POV instead of Third Person POV.**

I didn't go to school for the rest of the week. Mom took me to the doctor's, and it turned out that I really _was _sick, but it wasn't illness. I was diagnosed with major depression disorder, and bipolar disorder. Mom kept me out of school so she could keep and I on me. Being diagonossed with major depression disorder meant that she found out about my self harming issues. I wasn't grounded, but she wasn't exactly happy with me either.

At night, Gerard would come in with Frank, and they'd entertain me for a few hours before my medicine made me fall asleep. I'd wake up to find them cuddled on my floor, and I'd wake them up for school and make them coffee in return. Mom spoiled me with little gifts; like candy, or new picks for my bass. I can't say I didn't _like _the attention, but it was kind of annoying. I was still Mikey wasn't I?

Alicia started talking to me again, and I was debating getting back together with her when I went back to school. She was a sweet girl, and she did make me happy. Not as happy as Ray would've made me, but...no. Don't think about him.

I was in mid-conversation with Alicia when it happened.

"Hey Mikey."

"Hey Lic. You doin' okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. How about you? Gerard said that you got diagnosed with bipolar disease and depression."

"Yeah, but I have medicine for it, so it isn't that bad."

"Oh, okay. Good."

"Yeah..."

We stood in silence.

"So, Lic, I was wondering if-" I was saying, when suddenly I was whirled around, and someones mouth was on mine. My eyes went wide when I realized who it was, but I couldn't help kissing him back. Ray's hand cradled my cheek, and my arms were around his neck. We were kissing for about five minutes, and I remembered to pull away when Alicia cleared her throat.

"What were you wondering?" Alicia asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Nothing..." I breathed. Ray pulled me in for another kiss, and I felt myself melt against him, my hands knotting in his uncontrolable hair.

~X.x.X~ (A few months later)

"I love you..." I murmured against his lips.

"I love you too." He whispered back. Now was the time for the discussion that I'd held off a few months.

"What made you change your mind?" I whispered. We were laying on my bed in each others arms now. He tightened his hold on me.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, before I had my...accident, you were still with Christa."

"Well...yes. I wasn't sure about my feelings for you, but when Gerard called me crying after you fell asleep and told me what you did...I don't know how to explain it. I just...I knew for sure then. And now I have you, Mikey, and..."

"And?" I whispered.

"I'm never going to let you go."

**The End.**


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